The new photo album on this page. (It’s on the left column and down a little ways.) It’s a retrospective of the first annual Christmas Master, the game I made up to spice up the family Christmas gathering. If you were lucky enough to be there, it will bring back all those wonderful memories. If you were not, now you will know just what you missed.
Cake can be a delicious dessert if eaten properly. The key is to use a fork rather than a greased-up pickle. This is a more common mistake than you’d think.
To eat cake properly:
1) Grasp a standard fork in your eating-hand.
2) Rotate your wrist slightly and use the edge of the fork — preferably the northerly or westerly edge, but it’s not all that important — to cut through the soft, moist dessert.
3) Once a bite-sized chunk (remember, bite-sized for you, not a hippopotamus) has been excised, either a) spear the chunk with the pointy parts of the fork — the “tines,” if you will, or b) slide the “tines” under the chunk, allowing it to rest on top of the tines, which should be curved slightly upward. (If your tines are not curved slightly upward, you may be using your fork upside-down, or you may have actually grabbed a greased-up pickle by mistake. Check again.)
4) Raise the piece of cake to your mouth.
5) Open your mouth. This step is very important.
6) Place the fork in your mouth (not too far in) and close your lips around it.
7) Slide the fork out, leaving the chunk of cake inside your mouth. 
Chew and swallow.
9) Repeat.
10) Thank the person who made the cake. If you made the cake yourself, give yourself a pat on the back. If you found the cake somewhere, thank your Higher Power for this good fortune.
We are approaching historic territory, folks. This is blog post #49. That means that all-important magical milestone of 50 posts is within reach. (This does not count posts that I removed after I decided that they either sucked or were kind of frightening.)
So, even though I have nothing to say, I’m going to write this one. Then soon I’ll write one more so I can get to 50. Then I will feel as if I’ve accomplished something. It’s a good feeling. I’ll take it, even if I arrive at it artificially by writing this pointless post, then one more stupid post, probably about something silly like how to eat cake properly, just for the sake of getting to 50.
Well, what else to write? There’s got to be some kind of filler I can come up with. I can tell you how things are going. Yeah, I’ll do that. OK. Things are basically fine. Wow. That didn’t take up much space. Of course there is much that I have left unsaid, and there are many more layers to it than just “basically fine,” but we’re going to keep this brief.
All right. There we have it. Post number 49. Stop back soon for the historic 50th post. It’s sure to be a winner.
